Free write

so...i just started writing...and well...haha check this out.


It’s like all these lights man. Like a fucking evangelical holy spirit...and then you see it. The fucking ball gags, made out of twenty dollar bills. It’s fucked up. So I turns to Mikey right, and I says, “Hey mikey do you like it?” Like the commercial you know.
So anyway, there we are surrounded by the carnal papacy, me trying to bring a little humor to the situation, and Mikey just turns his head ever so slowly and with all seriousness says “Will you please be quite I’m trying to watch my programs.”
“FUCKING PROGRAMS! this aint no fucking "all our former glory" or some other macroon-eating stay-at-home-mom soaps, this is fucking sacrilege!!” I said.
“Sacrilege or not, what else do you think we are going to watch, being in the current situation that we are?”
“Well, you could fucking close your eyes for the good lords sake!”
“Well, I don’t see YOU shutting your eyes….hey see if you can hit that bag of chips with you foot. Try and knock it over here I’m starving.”
“Bag of fucking chips! Are you out of your mind….our Good lord is being taken to the curb by Mr. Money bags himself, in twelve different angles, all about our heads, and you want a fucking bag of chips. Did you not get your second breakfast today tubby or wa–“
It’s about this point that our little intellectual conversation is interrupted by the sound of metal on metal, the door was opening. A big cast iron number, with one of those little eye slits. The ones you always see in those movies with the mad scientists. And then, wouldn’t you know it…one of them pops its head through the doorway.
“Are we having fun gentlemen?” the question had all this dead space behind it like he expected us to give a lot of thought to our answers. He smiled with his eyes, I hate that.
“HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WE ARE DOING!!!” I shook my chains for emphasis
“Tut tut, no need to be rude…and to think I took all that time and effort to make you a special desert.” It was like Houdini himself was there because all of a sudden this creep with a bad comb over, too much gel, and the fucking smiling eyes pulls out two of the largest, most tantalizing, morsels of cake you ever laid your eyes on. I will admit I even caught my self drooling. Mikey was probably drowning over where he was. So…yeah, then that guys smiles again this time adding his teeth, Which was worse because it was one of those full face smiles—All teeth and the cheeks going right up under those fucking eyes, which were still smiling themselves.
And then he slithers.
Yeah like a fucking snake. No, no, you ever seek a gecko? How they move, on walls and stuff? That was this guy…creeping along the wall holding to slices of chocolate cake smiling…blinding white teeth and those fucking bright green smiling eyes.